How do you handle divorced parents and tricky families in wedding photos?

The short answer

Plan ahead, keep the list short and kind, and tell us anything sensitive before the day. Families come in every shape, and divorced parents, step-parents and difficult relationships are very common at weddings. A calm plan keeps the day relaxed for you and for everyone in it.

This guide shows how to build the group list, how to handle separated parents and what to tell us on the planning call.

Start with a conversation, not a list

Before anything is written down, speak to the people involved. Ask parents who they would be comfortable standing next to, and let them know the groups you have in mind. A short conversation beforehand avoids a hard moment on the day.

It is your wedding, and the decisions are yours. If someone prefers not to be in a particular group, it is worth knowing early, so the list can reflect it.

Write the list with names

Write the groups using names rather than only relationships, such as “the couple with Anna, Mike and Sue” rather than “the couple with parents”. A list with names is clearer for everyone, and it helps whoever gathers the guests.

We do as many groups as you like, and we typically recommend around 15, because more than that can tire guests and the couple, who want to get back to the party. Around 15 groups typically take about 20 minutes, depending on how responsive guests are. Our guide to how long wedding group photographs take goes through it.

Divorced or separated parents

A simple approach is to photograph the couple with each parent, or each set of parents, as a separate group. That way nobody is asked to stand beside someone they would rather not, and everyone still has a photograph with you.

If separated parents are comfortable together, you can add a group with both of them. If they are not, the separate groups do the job, and it often feels easier for everyone. Step-parents can be included in the same way.

Step-families, absent relatives and loved ones missed

Blended families can have many groups, so decide which ones matter most and keep the rest for relaxed moments later in the day. Ask yourselves which photographs you will want in ten years’ time.

If someone important cannot be there, or has died, some couples carry a keepsake or make a small gesture during the day. If you would like to mark their memory in a photograph, mention it on the planning call.

Telling us, and finding the right helper

Tell us about any sensitivities on the planning call about a month before the wedding, or by email or Instagram in your own words. We ask about the group shot list and the best time to do it, and about important people to focus on for extra candids, such as close family and people who are unwell or whom you do not see often.

A groomsman or bridesmaid who knows the wedding party is a helpful person to round everyone up. Our guide to planning your wedding photography timeline shows how to fit the groups into your day.

If you are still deciding

Beyond the formal groups, we photograph how your family is together as the day unfolds, in a calm and unscripted way. If being photographed makes anyone in your family uneasy, our guide to what to do if you hate having your photo taken may help.

When you are ready, send an enquiry with your date and venue and we will reply within a few hours. An enquiry does not reserve your date; the £120 deposit does, once you are happy to go ahead.

Questions couples ask